By return of Post, my dearest Cousin,
I sincerely thank you and Mr: Dickenson,
for your extreme kindness; by which,
at a future period, I dare say, I may
be able to profit; but, after what I have
told you, I have no hesitation in avowing,
that I am now in a very uneasy
suspense, and correspondence with Mr: Holman,
relative to material pecuniary concerns;
till the arrangement of which, I am unable
to decide what to do for the best: of course,
our consultations would be ineffective till
I have received my answer upon this
subject; and I am likewise, in the act
of collecting together, whatever little matters
I can call my own from our place in Herefordshire, such as Books, &c. &c. --
I believe I omitted in my last, telling
you the only good there is to tell, about me:

---

namely, that, by the affection and generosity
of my dear Father, I shall at a future
(I hope a distant) period, be out of the
reach of pecuniary embarrassment. He
has purchased an Annuity for me, which,
at his decease, will be vested in the hands
of Trustees, for my exclusive use.
      For the present, my Income must be
contracted; but if Mr: Holman behave as he ought,
(of which I grieve to say, in the present fatal
delusion that possesses him, I have my doubts)
I might live upon it with comfort, upon
the moderate scale that would content
me.      You may judge of my present state
of mind. It is no small proof of your
friendship that you wish to encounter
my company; for even my singing, which
used to help out a little, is, by grief and
illness, extinct: whether it will return, depends
, I suppose, on whether things go on so
as to allow me any peace of mind. I hope to

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Heaven I shall not be involved in any dispute
with Mr: Holman, as to what is my due. Though his
conduct is certainly very blamable, I cannot
help retaining such an affection for him,
as would render his putting himself still
more in the wrong, a serious grief to me.
I ought to have had some account before
now, from him, on this point: I suppose
he cannot long delay it; and when I
know what I am to expect, you shall
hear from me again, my dear Cousin.
So rumours had reached you: they have,
by what I now understand, been long on
foot; but I was wilfully slow of belief.
How could one credit ill reports of a
man who had for so long a period, behaved with
the utmost affection and kindness? I
believe the weakness and inconstancy of
human nature, would be an endless disquisition
; so, I will not enter upon it here.
I will add a repetition of the extreme
obligation I feel, to you and Mr: Dickenson; with
my kindest love to him, and my Cousin Louisa.

---

I hope your health is perfectly re-established.
      I am engaged in a correspondence of consultation
, with my Father. I have no expectation
of him in town, immediately, on account of
the season. Besides, as I said before, I am by no
means certain that he will remove at all.
He has shown me the greatest kindness.

▼      ▼      ▼

I am very glad I wrote to you before you
finished your last; lest you should not have been
convinced that I should have written independently.
      Adieu, my dear Cousin -- believe me
                             your most obliged & affectionate
                                                         Jane Holman.